Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
