I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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