I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Is it because I queefed?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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