Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Blood and glitter go together right?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
