I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
