I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
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He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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