I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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