then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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