so explain again why im purple
no
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
