Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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