...so i touched it.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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