I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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