Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
