I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg