Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.