it glows. i had to have it.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.