Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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