AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
