Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
