I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.Â
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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