thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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