apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I'm both gender and math confused
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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