I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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