Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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