I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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