I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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