My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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