u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Is that strawberry winking at me??
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
