I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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