ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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