You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
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I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
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Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Randomize