I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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