I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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