I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
