is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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