Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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