hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
