The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
