I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
