She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
