So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
