Where did you get a picture of my penis
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
People with herpes should wear stickers.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
