i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
