we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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