And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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