Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
we're making bets on your personal life
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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