'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
