i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
