i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
