Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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