I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
