I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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