Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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