I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I feel like abortions should bother me more
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
