dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
send nudes
from the living room?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
