Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
