Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i dont even know how to be here
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
