I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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