i may or may not be watching the land before time
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
